Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
How To Know You’re Doing It Right
The first time I held a job with the word “Editor” in the title was ninth grade–I was chosen as editor of my junior high school newspaper. Primarily it meant I typeset the columns, by hand, on an IBM Selectric.
I also held various editor jobs on my college newspaper over the course of five or six years. (I was on the 9-year plan for a bachelor degree, because I had trouble choosing which one I wanted; that’s how I ended up with enough credits for a doctorate, and minors in math, physics, English, history and music.)
When I decided to learn how to write novels, I studied characterization, point of view, plot structure, and all that other good stuff, but I always figured I sort of knew how to edit. I had all that experience with “editor” in the job titles, but then, writing fiction makes you neurotic. I don’t know why. It just does.
I signed up for an online class about self-editing last month, with lessons based on the James Scott Bell Writers Digest book, Revision and Self-Editing.
The very first exercise we had to do was to read the work in progress from beginning to end like a reader; we weren’t allowed to edit or rewrite anything during the read, just make a note of it.
My notes basically said I needed to rewrite the second half of the book (on page 137 I wrote, “this is where it falls apart, rewrite from this scene”), because I realized about about the mid-point that it had the wrong protagonist; it was really her story, not his.
But other than that, I can heave a sigh of relief, because I found out I’ve been doing it right, going for tightness and coherence of story over interesting side trips into backstory or fabulous conversations that don’t quite move the plot forward.
I can describe the hero’s and heroine’s character arcs in one sentence, name the main turning points of the story, and even describe how the last scene mirrors the first scene of the book. Writing the synopsis took about fifteen minutes.
It’s a good feeling, to have someone else verify you’re going it right.
Urban Wildlife
I spotted a red fox (carrying toast) and two raccoons (waiting for a cross walk to empty of traffic) in downtown Boise last Friday morning during rush hour.
Spooky Man had an 8 a.m. appointment with a rehab doctor (in my opinion an idiot, but that’s just my opinion based on his best medical advice to “push through” 30 years of chronic debilitating pain and “be an athlete”), so we were driving downtown at 7:30 in the morning.
The raccoons were at the intersection of Fort and Robbins Rd, which is where traffic is being diverted to get to the VA medical center while the main entrance is being dug up, re-somethinged, and generally closed to traffic with large trucks parked in it.
They (the raccoons, not the trucks) looked like a mother and a teenager, coming down out of a maple tree on the corner to wait for the light to change and let them legally cross. In my experience, raccoons don’t obey pedestrian traffic regulations, but I haven’t lived in that neighborhood for twenty years.
The fox was in the VA medical center parking lot closest to the outpatient entrance. I swear he (or she) looked like one more federal employee on the way to work, finishing breakfast on the go.
A friendly staffer coming off night shift told us the fox lives in the area and frequently can be seen trotting through the parking lot at that time of day.
First we had the federal squirrels who behave like Secret Service agents (“I’ll have to inspect that bag of roasted almonds, Ma’am.”), then there was the wild bunny that apparently spoke squirrel, because it hopped over when Spooky Man chittered at it, and now a fox munching toast while walking through the parking lot.
I know this is because Boise has a somewhat unique geography, in that we have this large pocket of wild-ish land poking far into the northeast part of the city.
The VA medical center is only a few blocks from the largest hospital in the valley, St. Luke’s Regional Medical Center. The state capitol building, supreme court building and Health & Welfare building are a few blocks in another direction. Likewise the Catholic and Episcopal cathedrals, built in the 19th century, and Boise High School.
The VA medical center also backs onto federal reserve lands from the original Fort Boise — hence, the main entrance opening onto Fort Street — so wild creatures venture down out of the foothills and find themselves abruptly in a city (Surprise! Traffic!).
In fact, part of the medical center campus is actually built up onto a foothill that forms the first rank of the Boise range. There are even two tiers of parking lot. So it’s not all that bizarre to spot furry critters going about their business while going about your own.
Much more baffling was the recent case of an adolescent mountain lion shot on the grounds of St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center. To get there from any wildlife-friendly areas, the cat would have had to cross a freeway or walk miles on fairly busy roads. It was obviously a (very) lost teenager; I could still see kitten spots in its fur in the TV footage.
I didn’t think they needed to kill it, but I have a soft spot for big cats, particularly mountain lions. A domesticated mountain lion helps the heroine escape in Blade’s Edge (remember, this happens far in the future on another planet; our mountain lions are Not Domesticated).
But still, raccoons using a cross walk. A red fox with toast in the VA lower parking lot. Squirrels with mirrored sunglasses and earpieces (okay, I made that part up, but they have the attitude).
Such urbane wildlife could only happen in Boise.
Your Brain on Love, Oct 10 at Partners in Crime
It’s my Emerald City workshop practice run, 7 p.m. at Barnes & Noble. Biochemistry, neurochemistry, vole sex, stinky t-shirts, waist-to-hip geometry, I’ve got it all.
And there’s a bit about how to fake it with prescription drugs, too. Because we all have dopamine agonists lying around the house, right?
The Audi ad echoing “Imported from Detroit” Chrysler Superbowl ad
I recently came across an Audi commercial that has been touted as a rip-off of the “Imported From Detroit” Superbowl advertisement from Chrysler. Apparently Eminem sued them for plagiarizing instrumental parts of “Lose Yourself” and the settlement was donations to Detroit charities (although the exact terms are a secret). I love that part. 🙂
You can view the Audi ad here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqzsIZ6Qth0
And the Chrysler ad here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKL254Y_jtc
I enjoy well crafted television ads, because they are storytelling distilled: story question, beginning, middle, end, arc, all in a few minutes (both of these ads clock in at more than two minutes, less than two-and-a-quarter minutes) of video, music, and dialogue. Many ads do it in 30 seconds.
I have particularly enjoyed both the Chrysler Imported from Detroit and Jeep Manifesto stories, because they have focused on American themes — humble beginnings, pride of workmanship, achievable greatness. But the Audi commercial…well. I think it’s pretty clear that Audi’s agency copied the look and feel of the Chrysler commercial, but there’s no story.
Seriously, can you tell where it takes place? Bonn? Vienna? Berlin? It wasn’t intended to be shown outside of Europe, so it’s probably less mysterious for the intended audience. But I’m fairly familiar with landmarks of the bigger European cities and I couldn’t tell.
A series of disjointed images of a European city, a driver weaving between columns and spinning cookies in a parking garage all night, a fencing match, a clean shirt in the trunk for going back to the office: these do not make a story. Frankly, they don’t even make sense. There are shots of the car, but nothing connects the pieces together. Obviously, Audi didn’t understand what the Chrysler ad said, so they couldn’t effectively echo it.
Three statements from the Chrysler ad tell the backbone of their story: “What does a town that’s been to hell and back know about the finer things in life…the strongest steel is made in the hottest fire…we’re the Motor City, and this is what we do.” The music (the guitar riff from “Lose Yourself” by spokesperson Eminem, a nice touch) and the images simply underscore that story.
Even the choice of Eminem to deliver the last line is part of the story; a skinny white guy who grew up in a run-down trailer park, found his god-given talent and worked his hiney off to become successful is pretty much a living symbol of Detroit. Who knows that story better than him?
Audi’s story says… this is the new A6 Avant. In a city, with a parking garage. Oh, and there’s fencing. Where’s the story, people? Consumers want the story. Because the story defines the brand, and people define themselves by the brands they use. Your story becomes the story of your customers.
For example, I come from Jeep people. My father drove Jeep products until he rolled his Cherokee on a freeway onramp and stopped driving; he and mom walked away with a few scratches, but the Cherokee gave its all. And mom bought a Chrysler van, LOL.
My oldest brother owns three Jeeps (one of them a 1948 Willys 4×4 in rusted tiger-stripe desert camo) (no, it doesn’t run), and I’m seriously considering a Grand Cherokee to replace my teenaged Subaru Outback in a couple of years. We need something taller, since Spooky Man’s back doesn’t like climbing down into a car. Yo Jeep, make a hybrid Cherokee, okay? Thanks.
Spooky Man likes Ford and Toyota, and Jeep is good too; General Motors products — other than the GMC version of the Suburban — are Of The Devil. I have no idea why, nor do I understand his exception for the GMC Suburban and not the Chevy Suburban, since they’re essentially the same vehicle with different nameplates.
However, I know better than to shop GM models, because we are Not GM People, just ask him. Whatever. (They seem fine to me, but on this occasion, it’s convenient for me to obey. See the bit in yesterday’s post about wedding vows.)
That’s the power of brand. And since brand is defined by story, that’s the power of story — tell it poorly/wrong? Your product suffers, and you end up paying for “selected social projects” for “the revitalization of Detroit.” Poor Audi; you can’t buy that kind of publicity, but it made the company look stupid. At least they make good cars.
September 22…
The first day of fall, the Autumn equinox, and my parents’ wedding anniversary. My parents died of natural causes in 2005 (mom in February, Dad a week after their anniversary), but today would have been their 55th. Happy Anniversary, you old coots. 🙂
Ten days ago, Spooky Man and I celebrated 19 years of wedded bliss with seafood and key lime pie (crustless for me, sigh). I’m hoping we both last long enough to get to 55 years, but how did we get to 19 so danged fast?
I could swear it’s only been six or seven years since we were rained out of the Boise Train Depot garden and I ended up promising to love, honor, cherish and occasionally obey Spooky Man. It works; I get to choose the occasions.
Happy Autumn!
Ellipses…Cannot End A Sentence Alone
Okay, today’s grammar rant lesson is about the ellipsis (ellipses is the plural). It’s those three periods that indicate text has been left out (like an apostrophe does with one or two letters), or that a speaker has paused to gather his or her thoughts.
If indicating trailing off at the end of a sentence, ellipses require the final punctuation to be included. For example:
“But I thought…” She stopped and chewed her lip. — This is incorrect. That’s right, it’s WRONG (that was yelled; I find this incredibly frustrating).
“But I thought…?” She stopped and chewed her lip. — This is correct. The ellipsis indicates a pause. The punctuation indicates what kind of [bleep] sentence the speaker is pausing in the middle of.
Incorrect: “What the…” (unless the sentence continues after the closing quotes)
Correct: “What the…!”
Incorrect: “Well, I don’t know…” (unless the sentence continues after the closing quotes)
Correct: “Well, I don’t know….” — note that there are three periods making an ellipsis and another period to end the sentence. That’s how it’s done, people. Really. I hope you didn’t just ask “Really?” again, because I will have to hunt you down and give you such a split infinitive.
Tomorrow, I will demonstrate the correct ways to introduce a person with a job title (hint: if you don’t have a closing comma on a parenthetical phrase, you’d better not have an opening comma, either).
Ahh, the eyelid twitch is getting less pronounced already. Thank you for your kind attention.
Blade’s Edge is two years old today!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: life, milestones, writing
Leave a comment My first book hit the shelves two years ago today. Happy Birthday, Blade’s Edge!
In other news, Monday is my wedding anniversary (19 years and I haven’t killed him yet, but then he hasn’t killed me yet, either; it’s all good). Yes, the stupid terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center the day before my wedding anniversary. Hey, they bombed the London Tube on my birthday — it’s apparently all about me.
I’m an Early Bird Bonus Pitch winner for the Emerald City Writers Conference, which means I get to meet the fabulous Angela James (editor of Blade’s Edge, by the way) for the first time. And she wants to talk about “The Valmont Contingency,” also known as “The Reluctant Socialite, The Privateering Engineer and Zombies In Spaaacccceee.” What? It’s catchy, it’s accurate, and it’s going to be changed anyway…and I stink at titles.
Sometimes, a girl has to accept her limitations. String theory, yes, no problem. Juggling two jobs while writing novels and running a household, no problem. Repairing the car, fine as long as I can get it onto a rack. Complex space-opera plots — really, is there any other kind? Good book titles…. Um. Not so much.
And I’m in the middle of reading through the manuscript for “The Valmont Contingency” for Savvy Authors’ Editpalooza class. I have to have my notes posted by Sunday.
Maybe by this time next year, my first book will have a sibling. 🙂
Why I Love Writing-Contest Feedback
I try to enter a contest or two every year as I have time/money/manuscripts, both to give support to fellow genre fiction writers (RWA chapters often use contests as fundraisers) and to get feedback outside my critique group. Interestingly, once one has been published, there are fewer contests open to unpublished work.
This year, I entered seven pages — approximately the opening scene — of two works in progress in the Emerald City Opener (put on by the Greater Seattle RWA chapter and commonly referred to as the ECO), and the first chapter or so of a historical I’ve been tinkering with for several years in the Rebecca (put on by the New Mexico chapter, Land of Enchantment Romance Authors).
I find judge’s comments from a tiny slice of a novel to be interesting on several levels, because they almost always approach it as if it’s the entire story. One ECO judge complained that hero and heroine of Open Mike at Club Bebop had not met by page 7; they actually meet when she dies in his arms on page 8 and he gets her on life support. By way of comparison, the hero and heroine of Jennifer Crusie’s NYT bestseller Welcome to Temptation meet on the last page of the first chapter — page 25 of the paperback. Judge #1 also repeated several times how much he/she loved my voice. Yes, they say nice things, too.
Another judge described the same beginning scene as “very passive and unemotional”; a cyborg veteran (the hero) confronts a criminal gang (the antagonist) ineffectually trying to break into his secured building. This is exactly what I wanted to convey, because his character arc is to rediscover his humanity (through falling in love with the heroine) and take back his life.
Judge #2 suggested beginning the story later, when the hero and heroine meet. Unfortunately, that would mean the second half of the story wouldn’t make any sense, because the antagonists wouldn’t have been introduced prior to the point where they kidnap the heroine. However, because Judge #2 didn’t have the rest of the story, all he/she saw was the gang poking at the hero and the hero poking back. I’m inclined to think this judge was female, because most men of my acquaintance don’t find that sort of thing boring. 🙂
I didn’t receive the third judge’s comments on this story due to a slight technical difficulty; I entered the openings of two stories and got two copies of this judge’s comments for the other story. I sent the coordinators a note, and I’m sure they’ll get it straightened out soon.
So the sum total of my feedback (so far), is that the story opening is doing exactly what I want it to, even if the scores reflect that the judges don’t quite understand where I’m going. Really, how could they, since they get seven pages and no synopsis to sketch out the rest of the plot — not even a back-cover blurb? They did a great job with what they had and told me what I wanted to know.
Thanks for your help, Emerald City Opener judges. You do good work.
Open Mike at Club Bebop, distillation phase
I have finished the edit-and-polish on Bebop (insert wild cheering here). The final word count came to 31, 600, which puts it at the longer end of the novella range.
Now I’m working on the synopsis, which shouldn’t be more than two pages long (the entire manuscript is only 103 pages in 12-pt Times New Roman). I have a feeling it’s going to start at four pages and get edited back, based on what I’ve written so far. Sometimes that’s how it works.
The next piece is to distill the two-page synopsis into two paragraphs, for the query letter blurb. Whole lotta distilling goin’ on, almost enough for moonshine.
On an almost completely unrelated note, one of my most popular posts is about the Heineken commercial; it’s still getting more hits than just about any other post. I shall have to story-analyze another commercial soon.
The Cranky Grammar Post
My name is Valerie and I am a grammarian. Yes, I know I’m almost as hated as an IRS auditor, but there’s no 12-step program for grammarians, so get used to it. And, as a grammarian, I have Buttons (note the initial capital letter for emphasis). Lately, people around me — through no fault of their own and some on television — have been pushing my grammar buttons. And so I am pushing back today.
First of all, what is it with the misuse of hang? I realize that it’s an edge case, but the Legal Terminology for execution by hanging is, “hanged by the neck until dead.” “Hung,” when referring to a human being who might or might not have been convicted of a capital crime, refers to something entirely different. Hence my involuntary giggle at the sentence, “He was hung for murder.” Um, no. Although he might have been hung, telling me that on television is deeply into the area of Too Much Information.
There is no such word as “towards.” Stop sticking the S on the end, please. It makes you sound almost as stupid as “nukular” (nuclear) or “aks” (ask) and I know you’re not stupid. You’re intelligent and articulate, a natty dresser and an all-around good person who likes dogs, cats and small children; never litters; and opens doors for people with their arms full.
I realize some of the mispronunciation might not be voluntary. My mother, bless her, could never properly pronounce larynx; it always, always (no matter how hard she thought about it) came out “larnyx” on the first try. Maybe that’s why the other mispronounced words bother me.
Lately, I’ve been hearing a fairly high percentage of newscasters mentioning politicians taking decisions (yes, the debt showdown was watched avidly in my house — not by me, but I still caught more of this construction than I would have liked). I learned as a child that choices are taken, but decisions are made. I know you can stop mixing that up.
On the other hand, I have been hearing more and more bad grammar on television news networks over the last year or so; maybe I’ve only been noticing it for that long, but still…when all you have to do is read the copy on camera, you might at least attempt to use the right pronunciation and construction.
There has also been a lot of “try and” on the news networks, too — it’s “try to,” people. “Try and” doesn’t even make sense; you need a preposition after “try,” not a conjunction. Duh.
Speaking of missing conjunctions, people who complete a phase of education graduate FROM the program. Graduating school means dividing it into grades, and that was accomplished a long time ago. Nobody needs to do it again.
One more — use the correct pronoun. If you’re talking about a single individual, you cannot describe this person as “they,” because “they” refers to more than one person. There are three possible pronouns to refer to a singular noun: he, she, and it. Guess which one doesn’t have a gender?
Other than turning a person into a thing, you could use the pretentious-sounding “one.” Maybe if more people used it, it wouldn’t sound as pretentious. But then, one never knows what the next linguistic fad will bring.
So those are my buttons for this year. I fear “try and” will be a button for many years to come, because, alas, it appears to be becoming more and more prevalent. I realize that language is a living entity that evolves, but I also know that’s not a valid excuse to completely misuse a part of speech.
“And” isn’t a preposition, dammit. Now get off my lawn, you pesky kids.
